The Past Doesn't Forget
by Chevious
Summary: Andromeda Nogard is an intriguing individual. She is trying to forget her past, yet she is consumed by it. She wants to start over, to begin anew. However, Destiny has other plans for Nogard. She can't run any longer.
1. Disclaimer and Author's Note

**Disclaimer**

The wonderful JK Rowling owns most of the characters and the setting. I own Andromeda Nogard, some random students, the story line, and the story itself.

**_PLEASE NOTE!!_** If you haven't read Just Enough, don't read any further. Go back, read it. Then you may return to this one.

**Author's Note**

This is the sequel to my Old School HP Romance Just Enough. This was the second fic I planned on fixing and definitely threw the old one out the window in doing so. You may notice several differences if you actually read the older one (see I'll never forget him - if it isn't deleted by now that is). I think this one is far more constructed and enjoyable. I hope you all enjoy it. It will be posted in chapters as opposed to two parts. It'll be interesting. I've never written in chapters before. I don't really like the title, and it will probably change eventually, so be warned. I'm gonna try to get them up in a decent amount of time. We'll see how that goes. Hmmmmm.....Anywayz, go read the stupid fic already! Why are you wasting your time on this?! Go! SHOO!

Reviews are welcome as long as they are constructive.

Turn the page.....


	2. Giving up on the Past

This night would've seemed like any other night to those filling the tiny pub known as the Three Broomsticks. However, when an odd, despondent woman entered the bar, things changed. Her aura alone was enough to depress any onlooker. Her unkempt chestnut locks fell against the back of her ebony cloak. Her mournful green eyes remained downcast. Even her scarlet robes were faded and dingy. A tarnished golden band about her ring finger gleamed in the dancing light of the oil lamps as she seated herself at the bar.

The woman sat in silence for a few moments, seeming to ponder her own existence or ordeals. She had been through so much in the last decade, and was finally tired of it. Her past had obviously given up on her, as did her spirit to continue her unrelenting search. That search had brought her back to the place of her youth, and here it would end. Her final lead, and her final dead end. She was finished with it all. She was tired of searching. She was tired of disappointment. Her heart had broken more times during her quest due to such dead ends as this than it had during her adolescence.

"It's over," she mumbled to herself in defeat. She folded her hands, elbows aching against the hard wood of the counter. The woman rested her nose against her scarred fingers and stared off in front of her. "I'm finished."

"Well, my dear, you can't be finished if you haven't had anything to drink yet, can you?" the middle-aged witch standing before interrupted. "What'll it be?"

The young woman upon the stool peered up at her blankly for a moment, as if comprehending her statement. She sighed and finally answered, "Cosmopolitan."

The bartender turned her back to the melancholy woman, who had returned to her thoughts. Where would she go now? What was she going to do? She had nothing but her wand, a bit of wizard gold, a few pounds, and some Euro. How was she going to get by?

A drink was set upon the counter, breaking her concentration. The woman began sipping the sweet liquor, wishing she had a plan. No one recognized her anymore, so she had no one to rely on. All she had now was what remained of her sanity. The best thing to do was to forget the past and move on.

"My dear, Rosemerta, how nice to see you again," a weary voice greeted, as a graying, elderly wizard sat down beside the woman.

"Good evening, Professor Dumbledore. What's brings you here?" the bartender replied with a smile.

"I am supposed to meet with a Mister Reginald Danswith. I had an interview for the teaching position at Hogwarts. He hasn't been here by any chance, was he?"

"I do believe there was a chap in here about an hour ago asking about openings at Hogwarts," Rosemerta answered, stroking her chin thoughtfully. "I told him the only opening I knew of was the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. He asked if I was sure, so I told him that's the only position that's ever open, and that I'm always hearing the job is cursed by students coming in here. Poor bloke ran out before I could get his name."

"Well, well, it certainly appears I will once again have some trouble filling the position. Thank, madam."

"Pardon me, professor," the peculiar woman interrupted. "Would it be possible for someone such as myself to merit and interview. You are here, as am I, at the moment. It would be easier for it to be conducted now."

The wizened man examined her appearance over the rim of his half moon spectacles. His skeptical look didn't seem promising, but his lips softened into a small smile.

"I suppose so," he said. "Come with me."

Dumbledore seated himself at a worn mahogany table near the center of the room. He motioned for the woman to take the seat in front of him. She did so, mentally preparing herself for the ensuing interrogation.

"May I ask your name, miss?"

"My name?" The woman paused for a moment. Her silence seemed to perplex the old professor, as he continued to study her over the rim of his spectacles. "Andromeda Nogard, sir."

"Well, Miss Nogard, what are your qualifications?"

"I received Acceptable or Outstanding on my N.E.W.T.s in the areas of Divination, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Charms. I've worked as an independent curse breaker and have dealt with many magical threats."

"Are there any fears or phobias that would affect your ability to teach? Any...conditions?"

Her eyes glanced back at the unfinished cocktail that had been abandoned on the counter. She closed her eyes against a painful memory that was trying to invade her thoughts. She looked back at the man before her. "Not anymore, sir."

Again, Dumbledore seemed intrigued by her answer, but continued. "Do you have any experience in the field of education?"

"I'm sorry to say that I don't."

The Professor paused, staring at her contently for a moment. "Why would you like this position?"

"To be honest, sir, I need a job. I don't really have any skills other than magic, and I've been rather dependent on magic in the last decade or so. I don't know how to do anything else."

"I see." He smiled. "You do seem to be more qualified then the gentleman I was to meet with, and you do want the position. Please report to the Castle in August to prepare. I expect your book list for the students within two weeks."

"Thank you, Professor!" she exclaimed happily, shaking his hand as they both stood.

"You are very welcome, Miss Nogard." The woman was surprised to see a small twinkle in his eye. Did he recognize her? "And, please, refer to me by name. It's much less formal."

"Thank you, Dumbledore."

He smiled warmly. "I will see you in August."


	3. A New Beginning

_**Random Author Ramble:**_ Wow the first draft that I posted sucked out loud! And so, voila! A new and improved chapter 2. I rushed the last one too much, so I spreading that infro over a few chapters. Those who read the old chapter 2 (Haunted by the long forgotten) will be ahead of those just now reading this one. Cookies to you! Anywayz, I dunno when another chapter will get up. I have an application essay for a councilor program to write along with a term paper, plus anything else added, such as my new "job" and softball conditioning. Then there's the procrastinating...LoL! That doesn't help very much either. Why am I still writing this! You've prolly already moved onto the actually story. Damn! This is just a waste of space then...Okay I'll just quit while I'm ahead T.T(sad about wasting space). Go read if your actually reading this. What are you waiting for! Go on! You know you want to!

* * *

Dumbledore stood majestically before the mass of hungry students. He peered about, seeming to examine every face as the first years settled in with their newly selected houses. His arms raised, silencing the room almost immediately. 

"Welcome to another fine year at Hogwarts," Dumbledore boomed. "Before we begin the first of many magnificent feasts, I ask that provide me with your undivided attention for a few start-of-term announcements. To first years, and elder students who must be reminded (He peered at the Gryffindor table over the rim of his spectacles, as if to silently warn a certain group of upperclassmen.), the forest on the school grounds is strictly forbidden to all those who would like to keep all of their limbs intact. The caretaker, Mr. Filch, would also like to remind you all once again,that magic is forbidden in the corridors between classes. A rather lengthy list of other things that are forbidden from use in the corridors can be found on Mr. Filch's office door." He paused for a moment. "We would also like to welcome the newest edition to our staff. Professor Nogard will be filling the ever changing position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Applause of welcome ensued, filling the hall with a tremendous echo. Nogard stood for a moment, bowing her head in acknowledgement before sitting once more. The ovation died away and Dumbledore continued one for a few more minutes.

"Nogard, is it?" hissed a rather venomous, deep voice. She peered up to see a tall, greasy haired man taking a seat beside her.

"Yes. Snape, correct?" she replied. Nogard had no need to ask him. She knew exactly whom Severus Snape was. The Potions Master sitting beside her appeared to be the same pale, quiet boy who used to tinker with his chemistry set down by the lake in their youth.

"Have we met?" He eyed her suspiciously, ignoring the proposed question. "You seem rather familiar."

"Perhaps." Nogard smiled warmly, seemingly to Snape's annoyance. "Did we go to school together?"

"Perhaps." He didn't appear to lose any interest in the new professor, but diverted his attention to Professor Sinistra, who was attempting to hold a conversation with him.

After consuming a large amount of food, Nogard retired to her office for the night. She busied herself with lesson plans and various other chores. Tomorrow was the beginning of the term, and a new beginning for the mysterious professor.

* * *

Nogard pulled back the heavy oak door of her office and stepped onto the balcony. Below her, students were chatting aimlessly, not seeming to notice the petite woman observing them. Nogard leaned against the railing, taking in everything around her and going over her lesson in her head. 

"Here goes nothing," she sighed to herself. She spoke again, this time her voice booming, "Good afternoon, class."

The room fell deadly silent as the students stared up at her, anticipation written across every face. Nogard descended the stone staircase and made her way to the front of the group. A warm smile curled across her thin lips.

"Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am Professor Nogard, the latest, in what I hear, is a long line of instructors. I'm going to tell you right now that my class will not be by any means easy, nor will it be a bore." She began to pace in front of her class, her voice taking on an authoritative tone. "I expect there to be no horseplay during my class or there will be extreme consequences. Your well being depends on your ability to listen carefully and follow instructions. Does everyone understand me?" The Forth Years nodded in compliance, appearing to be soaking up her every word like a sponge. "Right then! Before we get into the fun stuff, we must get all of the background information. Please open your books to page 495."

* * *

**_Random Author Ramble 2:_** YAY! "New" chapter completed! This seems to be a better filler chapter than the last chapter 2. I'm sure a few questions are forming in the mind of the reader. Who is this Nogard woman (if you haven't figured it out...its kind of obvious)? What was she looking for? How does she know Snape (other than obviously going to school with him)? What's going to happen next? Well, guess what! I'm not telling you! HAHAHA! Did you honestly think I would! Stay tuned fic fans if you want some answers. 

**_And PS:_** Get used to the rambles. I'll prolly have them in every chapter. One has no need to read them though. They're just the ramblings of the crazed author who is avoiding her Precalc homework and writing her term paper on the French Revolution!


	4. A Chance Encounter

**Ramble #3:** Wow! Its been a while, hasn't it? I've had such severe writer's block as far as this chapter goes. I personally think it could be _so_ much better, but it happens. This is definitely a big turning point chapter and I was hoping it would be a good one. My writing has definitely lacking lately. Anyway, hope you enjoy the new chapter.

* * *

Nogard wandered aimlessly through the crowded streets of Hogsmeade. A thick blanket of snow covered the cobblestones beneath her feet. Students bolted around her, completely enthralled in a snowball fight. Refusing to lecture her students for being teenagers, Nogard merely smiled.

The masses of busy people thinned out as she climbed higher and higher, finally coming to a halt at the crest of the large hill. She was completely alone at this point, much to her satisfaction. Nogard seated herself on a nearby rock and stared out at the dilapidated building that loomed in the distance. Snowflakes were falling now, obscuring her view slightly.

She rubbed her hands vigorously together, attempting to warm her frozen fingers. She sat there a every bit of an hour, just staring at the old mansion and reminiscing. One memory in particular, that of her eighteenth birthday, resonated in her mind.

After a while, Nogard rose and made her way back down the hill. She moved passed hoards of students and villagers alike, engrossed in their purchases as they moved from store to store. Nogard entered the Three Broomsticks in search of warmth and refreshment.

She ordered a butterbeer, a beverage she hadn't had in years, and seated herself at a small table near the bar. She sipped the sweet amber liquid, allowing its warmth to melt her frozen body.

"Andromeda," McGonagall's voice greeted as she took a seat beside her colleague.

"Hello, Minerva. How are you?" Nogard replied, flashing a friendly smile.

"I'm quite well. Thank you." She returned the smile. "Why are you in Hogsmeade?"

"Personal sanity check. I needed to get out of the castle. You?"

"I am chaperoning the students today."

"I see. They can drive you pretty nuts, can't they, Minerva?"

"At times, of course, but we were all like that at their age."

"Yeah," Nogard chuckled. "I know I was."

"You went to school with Severus, did you not?"

"Yes, but we didn't exactly get along."

"How so?"

"He and some of my other friends had a mutual loathing for each other. It was a one-sided dislike from him by association. Granted, I may have picked on him once or twice, but not as much as two of my friends did. It was almost a ritual for them."

"I see." McGonagall looked up a the door. "Oh! Here comes one of your former classmates now."

"Pardon?"

Nogard looked up out of curiosity. Her face flushed a ghostly white, and her fingers began to tremble. A tall man was walking toward them as McGonagall gestured for him to join them. His chestnut hair was flecked with a gray that almost matched his hazel eyes. His tired, pallid expression was only brightened by the smile adorning his lips. It was him.


	5. You Remind Me

**Random Author Ramble (RAR) #4:** The chapters are seeming to come easier now. So, hopefully, I'll be able to get more chapters up in a timely manner. We're starting to get into the really important chapters, so they may be getting longer from here on out. This one is definitely the shortest of the bunch up upcoming chapters, but fits in with the shortness of the posted ones. Hope your enjoying the story. I'm glad to have an excuse to procrastinate! I know you'd rather be reading the chapter, so go on! Read it!

* * *

Nogard sat so still that, with her current flushed complexion, she could have been easily mistaken for a statue. Her mouth slightly ajar, only she could do was watch him approach them. Her hands were trembling so much that she had put her mug down for fear spilling or dropping it. She had searched for so long, just to look upon his face again, and here he was, standing right in front of her.

"Minerva," the man greeted. "How wonderful to see you again. How have you been?"

"I've been quite well, Remus," McGonagall replied. "How about you? You seem to have a few more scars than the last time I saw you."

"It comes with my condition," he laughed. "One doesn't notice after many years of it."

"Oh! How rude of me! Remus, this is Andromeda Nogard. She's the new Defense teacher up at the school."

"Nice to meet you." He extended a friendly hand to the nervous teacher. She looked up, still attempting to control her trembling and took it.

"Charmed," Nogard replied, looking him in the eye.

Remus' expression changed slightly. He almost seemed baffled at the sight of her. His smile faded slightly and he just stared at her as if an epiphany had just occurred to him. Nogard released his hand, hoping that he would discover her true identity.

"What did you say your name was again?" He took a seat beside her, keeping his eyes locked on her face.

"Nogard. Andromeda Nogard, Mr.---?" She knew perfectly well what his name was, but he didn't seem to know that.

"Lupin. Remus Lupin."

"I believe I will leave you two to get acquainted," McGonagall announced, rise from her place. "It was nice seeing you again, Remus. I'll see you back at the castle, Andromeda."

"See you later, Minerva." Nogard waved to her associate as she disappeared onto the busy streets.

"Pardon me for prying," Lupin began, "but do you have family that went to Hogwarts?"

"Yes, actually. All of the wizards in my family have attended Hogwarts. I, myself, graduated in 1979."

"Really? So did I." He continued to eye her suspiciously. "What house were you in?"

"Ravenclaw," she blurted out. It was the first house that came to mind. _Idiot!_

"Oh." Disappointment flooded his expressive eyes.

"Is there something wrong, Mr. Lupin?"

"No. Nothing. You just reminded me so much of someone I lost a long time ago."

"Really? I don't mean to bother you, but who was she?"

"My wife. The most wonderful woman in the world. She was one of the few people who was always there for me."

"Did she leave you?"

"No, she would never do that. She was on her way to see one of her good friends, and there was an accident. The Ministry only found her car." His intense eyes looked away from her.

"I'm sorry," Nogard apologized, her own tears threatening to spill onto her cheeks.

"It's all right." He looked back at her with a smile. "It doesn't hurt as much as it used to. I have a lot of fond memories of the time we did have together."

Nogard smiled now too. He was the same loving man that she had know from years ago. He hadn't changed much at all. Many new scars, physically and emotionally, but he was as strong as the day she had met him.

"Oh! Look at the time!' He glance at the shabby looking leather band around his wrist. "I better get going. It was nice meeting you, Miss Nogard."

"Nice to see you too."

They both rose. Lupin took her hand in one final handshake. He looked her in the eye as if looking for something intangible, something that he hadn't been able to find for quite a while. She too looked into his eyes, wishing to hold him in her arms as she did back then.

Nogard watched as he walked away from her, wondering if she'd see him again. Her hope had been restored, but it was too late to go back now. She had her new life and he had his. Could that be changed now? Was it too late?

* * *

**RAR #5:** Oh the suspense! Well, I'm sure 99 percent of you have figured her out by this point. I have to leave that 1 percent in for the clueless bunch. I can't stop laughing over RAR. LoL! It's stupid, but soooo funny! I guess I'll get used to it. Until then, I will continue my annoying giggle. Hope you liked the new chapter. The next one should be up soon (as long as the French Revolution doesn't pop up out of the blue.). Please review. I would really like to hear what you think.

PS: Thank you, EclipseKlutz for your encouragement! It helped me out of my slump. Love ya, Fred!


	6. The Collapse of My Facade

**RAR #6:** LoL! The abbreviation still has me laughing! Anyway, giggles aside, I'm glad that those who have reviewed really like my story. I'm having a lot of fun writing it. I have a slight _Count of Monte-Cristo_ (great movie!) moment in this chapter. I was just watching the movie a little while ago. Those who have seen the movie will know the line that I modified. It seemed appropriate. So to add a bit of a disclaimer: The line I modified belongs to the screenwriters whom adapted _The Count of Monte-Cristo _by Alexandre Dumas

* * *

Nogard gathered up the papers on her desk, organizing the reports that had just been passed in. Her class had just ended and the students had begun to file out.

"Hello, Professor," a few students mumbled as they exited the classroom.

She looked up curiously, meeting the greeting stare of Remus Lupin as he strolled toward her. A small smile danced across his lips, making him appear to glow in sunlight that flooded into the room from the windows. Her heart seemed to skip a beat.

"Good day, Mr. Lupin," Nogard greeted, looking back down at the reports she was continuing to stack. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if I could have a word with you?"

"Of course," she replied, raising the stack of papers into her arms. "We can talk in my office."

She led him up the staircase and through the open door on the landing. She took a seat behind her mahogany desk and placed the reports into a drawer. Lupin stood across from her in the doorway.

"Have a seat." She smiled as she let her hair down from the tight bun it had been in all day. She racked her fingers through it before containing it in a low ponytail. "Now," she began, folding her hands on top of her desk, "what did you wish to discuss with me?"

He shifted in his chair. "I was thinking about our discussion a few days ago. When I said I had lost someone."

"Yes, of course you lost your wife, Chevious."

He went silent for a moment, blankly staring at her. "See that's the thing. I only said I lost someone, and you asked who _she_ was."

Nogard froze. "Did I? Are you sure you didn't mention it?"

"And I'm positive I never mentioned that her name was Chevious." He paused. After a long moment of silence, he continued. "Which means that there is something you aren't telling me. Who are you, really?"

Nogard looked away. He silence was enough of an answer for him. He rose and walked around the table. He kneeled down, leveling himself in order to look at her face. Tears were threatening to fall from her sad eyes.

"What do you want from me?" she managed to choke out.

"So it is you," he sighed, pulling her against him in a strong embrace. The warmth of his skin seemed so comforting, yet only made her resistance against crying weaken. He pulled back and stared into her eyes with his gorgeous hazel ones. "Where have you been all this time?"

"Four years in a coma at a muggle hospital, and anywhere else you can imagine," she replied, voice suddenly stronger. Tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Why didn't you come back home?"

"You think I didn't try! Damn it, Remus! You moved around so much that it was nearly impossible to even find information about your whereabouts!"

He cupped her face with his hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. She closed her eyes against his piercing gaze. She didn't need this right now. She had been doing so well without him.

Before she could react, his lips were on hers in a passionate kiss. Nogard melted at his touch, falling deeper into his kiss. How could she resist him? He pulled away slowly, opening his own eyes to look into hers once again.

"I've missed you," he whispered. A single tear of joy seemed to escape from his eye.

"You should go," she cooed, wishing her pride refusing to let her savor the moment. "Dumbledore is waiting for you."

A small smile curved across his lips. "You haven't changed a bit. I'll come see you again before I leave."

He rose slowly, not breaking his eye contact, and backed out of the room. He blew her a kiss before vanishing from sight. Nogard rose from her seat and strode over to the door. She watched as her only love walked away from her again.

Nogard closed the door and leaned her back against it. Lacking the energy to stand any longer, she slid to the floor. She hugged her knees hopelessly, leaning her head against them. Tears flowed in rivers down her rosy cheeks as she sat alone in her office.

* * *

**RAR #7:** Voila! Everything is out in the open. What will happen next? Hmmm...guess you'll just have to wait for the next chapter, won't you! Please review. 


	7. Unintentional Torment

**RAR #8: **Hello again, my dear readers. I'm finally back with a new chapter for this story. Now that life has slowed down to a leisurely pace, I am able to write freely. I'm not sure if I like how this chapter turned out. I guess I will leave it up to you, the reader. Hint hint, nudge nudge. Yeah, so after a long stint of writer's block and a crazy time after turning in my term paper (which I aced!_ Sweet!_), I can finish this story in no time. Thank you for being patient. Here is some of the reward. Hope you like it.

* * *

Nogard sat behind her desk, silently appearing to grade the tests of the previous class while her current students worked diligently on the book assignment she had given them. Conflicting emotions and thoughts swirled like a thick fog within her mind. Her quill paused, her eyes locked on the parchment before her.

"Mr. Thuban, please cease your attack on Miss Calis," she voiced fairly monotony. "Spitballs are quite obvious in dark hair, especially when they are charmed to change colors." A small, portly boy in the back of the room froze, the fluorescent pink wad of damp paper that he had been positioning for flight fell forgotten to his desk. The raven haired girl in front of him turned around and proceeded to stick her tongue out at the would be assailant. "Back to work, both of you."

Nogard was far too distracted as it was, there was no need for her students to add to it. Lupin had been gone for no more than an hour, but it seemed like centuries. Her tears had run dry only minutes before her class had begun. She wasn't quite sure if she could handle seeing him again, let alone think about what may happen. Her complete distress over the situation scared her. Did she want to be with him once again? Or did she want to walk away from more than thirty years of her life and continue her current charade?

Approaching footsteps broke her thoughts abruptly. Her eyes rose slowing to meet the warm, penetrating stare of her love. Lupin strode confidently toward her desk, presenting a professional air that made him appear to be visiting on business as opposed to pleasure. Students peered up from their textbooks curiously, gladly excepting any excuse to halt their tedious, half hearted efforts at work.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Lupin," Nogard greeted, voice steadied with great effort. "How can I help you?"

"I was hoping that I could take a moment of your time, Professor Nogard," Lupin replied, tone completely professional. "Privately of course. Official business." His lie was perfectly fabricated for the ear of the unintended audience whose stare bore into his back, but his eyes pleaded with her bleeding heart to speak with him plainly.

"May I ask the nature of this business?" she stalled, slowly losing her composure.

"Dumbledore has advised that I should speak of it only in private, Ms. Nogard."

She bit her lip nervously. Nogard stood and scanned the classroom, the eyes of her students shooting back to their work, their quills springing to life instantly. She looked back at Lupin.

"In that case, my office is the perfect place." She gestured toward the staircase behind her. Her attention returned again to her students. "Don't even think about getting out of your seats until I return. I promise that the one that even stands shall find himself in detention so fast that a Firebolt wouldn't be able to beat him there. Understood?" A collective nod assured this fact. "Good, and don't think I won't know who gets up."

Upon this declaration, Nogard accompanies her visitor to the enclosed loft that was her office. The heavy oak door closed behind her, protecting their conversation from prying ears. Lupin leaned leisurely against the edge of her desk, eyes once again probing hers. She turned away from him, unable to make eye contact for fear of a breakdown.

"What's wrong?" The concern in his voice was nearly unbearable. "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm fine," she muttered, her tone unconvincing to even herself.

He tilted his head slightly, searching her expression for some sign of emotion. It merely remained blank and unchanging, an action she had developed quite well over the years. Though her mind and heart were complete chaos, her expression stayed this way, at least for the moment.

Lupin was quite obviously unconvinced. "I thought you'd be at least a bit excited to see me. Maybe even if it was the slightest hint of a smile, I'd be satisfied."

His comment caused her to round on him. "Excuse me? You suddenly walk back into my life and just expect me to be completely overjoyed and ready to drop everything to be with you, is that it?"

"Not at all," he defended, realizing the suggestion of his words. "You know that isn't what I meant."

"Could have fooled me." Words were flooding from her mouth before she could stop them or think it through. Her voice grew stronger with each utterance. "_I was doing just fine before today. After years of chasing you around like I had in school, I had worked so hard at moving on. Just when it had begun to work, here you are, screwing it all up_."

"Chevious---"

"What makes you think that this isn't what I want?"

"You're being irrational."

"_About what exactly am I being irrational! Did you ever conceive the fact that maybe I want to be alone? That maybe I don't love you anymore!"_ Nogard froze, her lips parted in utter disbelief. She had said the inconceivable. She had hurt the one person she had promised to herself she would never hurt.

Lupin's eyes hardened, anger and torment tracing the lines of his condition aged face. He straightened up, his now icy stare piercing his aching heart.

"Is that how you really feel?" he asked. She was silent, attempting to find the words to voice her feelings, but her pause seemed long enough to answer his question. "I see. Well, then, I guess my business here is finished. I won't hold up your new life any longer."

She could only stare at him, her voice completely failing. His attention turned to the door, which he opened slowly as he once again took on a semiprofessional appearance. He descended the staircase quickly. At the foot, he turned again to Nogard who had appeared on the landing above him.

"If there is any need to contact me, Dumbledore knows where I'm staying. Good afternoon, Professor Nogard."

In one sweeping motion, he gave a slight bow and strode determinedly out of sight. Nogard stared after him for a few moments before she felt the twenty or so prying eyes that had now fallen on her. She survey the class below her with criticizing eyes.

"Mr. Thuban, due to your continued use of spitballs in you assault on Miss Calis, you will be joining me in detention." Several of his classmates snickered. "No need to worry about getting lonely, Mr. Thuban, because Mr. Creevy, Mr. Bandens, and Miss Carlway will also be joining you due to the fact that they left their seats during my conference with Mr. Lupin." She paused once again, awaiting complaints. When none came, she concluded, "Class dismissed."

The students filed out eagerly, wanting to flee from her apparent warpath. Nogard strode back into her office and slammed the door. She seated herself sideways in her armchair, allowing her feet to dangle over one of the arms. She rubbed her temples in frustration.

"I guess that is the end of that," she thought aloud. "I'm alone once again. I should get used to it, I suppose. This is how it will be from now on."

The final wall surrounding her heart crashed, and tears poured from her eyes. Cradling her head in her heads, Nogard let out the years of pain alone in the silence.

* * *

**RAR#9:** There you have it! I have decided that I do like this chapter. Chevious' irrational side comes out again, as it has many a time in the past (see JE). You'd think she'd have control of that by now, eh? It was yet another sad chapter. They just seem to keep coming out like that in one way or another. I tried to add a bit of comic relief to it by showing Chev getting her teacher on. LoL It just reminded me of all those teachers who have eyes in the back of their head. I don't know what you thought, but I thought it was pretty funny. Getting back to the story itself, this wonderful thing that I love to write is nearing its closing. Sadly, I will soon be hanging up my pen on this piece, within the next couple chapters in fact. Hopefully the next chapter will be up very soon. Until then, happy reading. 


	8. Broken Confessions

**RAR #10:** Huzzah! Another marvelous chapter for your reading pleasure. This story seems to really be moving along, and in the right direction no less. Hooray for the easy distracted one staying on task! Anyway, I'm not to fond of this chapter all in all. I think it could be better. It had to be written and will do for the time being. The next one is really good though. I'm excited about it and can't wait to post it for you. Unitl then, read on and enjoy!

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Nogard stayed confined to her office for the following days. The only reason she emerged was to instruct classes; she couldn't hold herself together for longer time periods than this. The encounter with Lupin had broken her. The way he had looked at her, as if she were some low, disgusting creature having a fit, had been burned into her mind's eye. She wanted nothing more then to erase the confrontation and to run to him, but she knew this was impossible. She had questioned her feelings toward him, aloud no less, and it was enough for him. She now busied herself with the grading of tests that she had been neglecting. It was a welcome distraction from her own emotions. It was a brief escape from her woes, very brief.

A loud knock upon her office door broke her forced concentration. She peered questioningly at the grandfather clock that stood beside her oversized bookcase. The aged, gold-accented face portrayed the late hour of ten thirty. _No student should be out of their dormitory at this hour. Who would want to see me this late at night?_

"Come in," she replied curiously.

The door swung forward, revealing a concerned looking McGonagall. Her hair was still pulled back into its usual tight bun, but her robes were in no way professional. Her forest green terry cloth robe dusted the floor as she moved toward her friend. The robe was wrapped tightly around her thin frame, attempting to conceal her pale pink nightgown. Her scholarly countenance seemed less knowledgeable due to the absence of her rectangular spectacles.

"Good Evening, Minerva," Nogard greeted, replacing her quill in its ink bottle. "To what do I owe the pleasure of such a late visit?"

"I apologize for the hour, Andromeda, but I can not, in good conscience, allow this to go unsaid." She paused as she seated herself in the armchair before Nogard's desk. "Why have you locked yourself away in this room?"

"What in the world are you talking about, Minerva?"

McGonagall scowled. "Don't you dare play dumb with me! You haven't left your classroom in a week. The only people that see you are your students, and even they are beginning to worry."

Nogard's hands began to tremble uncontrollably. "I've just been very busy, that's all."

"What's wrong with you, Andromeda? It's not like you to be so evasive."

"You have no idea," she muttered, looking down at her desk.

"You can talk to me. What's on your mind?"

Nogard was silent, contemplating the situation she had placed herself in. Her turmoil was eating away at her, slowly devouring her sanity. She needed to confide in someone. Why shouldn't it be McGonagall, her greatest and most trusted friend in this castle?

"Minerva," she began, ringing her hands nervously atop her desk, "I have to tell you something."

McGonagall smiled softly. "What is it?"

"My name isn't Andromeda Nogard." She paused, taking in McGonagall's reaction. The aging face of her colleague seemed mildly perplexed and intrigued by this confession. "My name is Chevious Andromeda Lupin. I was a few years behind you at Hogwarts. I graduated in 1979. I married my school sweetheart, the love of my life, a year later. About a year after the attack on Lily and James Potter, I was involved in a car accident on my way to a friend's home. It put me into a hospital for several years. I was considered lost to the wizarding world." McGonagall opened her mouth to interrupt, but Nogard raised her hand to silence her. "Let me finish. I spent the last ten years of my life searching for the remains of what I had left behind. When I didn't find it, I decided to start over. I used my middle and maiden name as my new identity and here I am."

McGonagall stared at her for a moment. "Your Remus' wife," she exclaimed, realization spreading over her face.

"Yes, I am." Tears threatened to spill onto her cheeks. "At least I was."

"I had no idea." The worn countenance of the witch remained unchanging, realization and slight confusion dancing in her dark eyes.

"No one did," Nogard replied, her voice beginning to crack. "When we ran into Remus in the Three Broomsticks, I was completely shocked. I had never expected to see him again."

"Then why are you so upset, dear?"

"I was careless during our conversation after you left that day. Remus confronted me with his suspicions a few days later..." Nogard trailed off as river began flowing from her eyes. She took a deep breath and continued. "We got into a small argument. Actually he touched a nerve, and I verbally attacked him. Then...he just...left."

McGonagall stared at her weeping friend, unsure of what exactly she should say. "He left?"

"Yes," she sobbed, cradling her head in her hands, tears staining the paper before her. "I hurt him, and he walked out."

"Oh dear. Did he say where he'd be staying?"

"No...but he said something about Dumbledore."

"I see...don't worry, Chevious. Everything will be all right in the end, I know it will."

"No, nothing will be all right, Minerva!" Nogard spat, rising to meet her companion's gaze. "I said something that can't be forgiven." She paused, biting her lip. "I said I didn't love him anymore. How could I say that! I don't expect him to forgive me. I can't even forgive myself."

McGonagall was silent as Nogard's head fell once again into her hands. She probed her mind, searching for anything that could possibly help. A small smile drifted onto her thin lips.

"You should go see him," she blurted.

Nogard's eyes snapped up. "Go see him! I can't do that!"

"And why not?"

"I just can't."

"Well at least get out of the castle. It is Christmas Eve after all. Go spend it somewhere where you can have a bit of fun." She paused, a glint of mischief in her eye. "You can stay with a friend of mine in London."

"Wouldn't I be imposing?"

"No, not at all!" McGonagall replied as she retrieved Nogard's quill and began scribbling fiercely on a notepad from the desk in front of her. She ripped a bit of paper from the pad and handed it to her. "Just take some floo powder to the leaky cauldron and follow those instructions. The flat is very easy to find."

Nogard stared down at the note clutched in her fingertips_. Maybe getting out of the castle wouldn't be such a bad idea, _she thought, a slight smile falling upon her lips. "Thank you."

McGonagall merely smiled. She patted her friend's hand, bid her good night, and disappeared into the darkness of the castle. Nogard was again left alone to ponder future events.

* * *

**RAR #11:** Not a very exciting chapter, but not too bad. Everything in out there now, for those of us on the slow end. You now know, for sure, Nogard's identity and past. I do believe I will just begin calling her Chevious now, to reduce confusion in many ways. Thank you for continuing to read my story. At most, there are only 3 chapters left. Please remember to review, they make me happy and brighten my days. Thank you! 


	9. Arranged Serendipity

**RAR #12:** Happy Birthday to me! Well, it was like a week ago (May 29), but my computer was being retarded and then I went away to be a councilor at a camp for a week. So I am finally able to post this for you all nearly a week late (June 3). Here's your present for being patient.

**PS:** Yes, I know the title is an oxymoron. So, no flames about it please.

* * *

Chevious stepped from the warmth of the Leaky Cauldron onto the frosty streets of London. Snow was falling all around her, catching the colored lights that flashed in long stands in shop windows. The streets were fairly empty, probably due to the fact that it was Christmas Eve, leaving Chevious to wander semi-aimlessly down the white avenue. 

She turned down a narrow dark street that lead toward the poorer artistic district. Pulling a small piece of parchment from her pocket, Chevious once again examined the directions McGonagall had given her. For the first time, she noticed a small note written on the edge of it.

_If no one answers the door, just let yourself in.  
He won't mind.  
There is a key in his mailbox.  
Good Luck!_

Chevious was slightly perplexed by the last line. She pondered what in the world she would need luck for as she approached the apartment complex in which McGonagall's friend resided. It was an older, fairly dilapidated two-story building. All of the apartment doors faced the street, the open air landing lined with an ebony railing. She took note of the chipped stone stairs and missing chunks of iron banister as she climbed to the upper floor. Loud Christmas music could be heard from the apartment at the end of the landing, the door to which was standing wide open as some party goers mingled over their cigarettes outside.

She stopped a quarter of the way down the landing at the door to Apartment 24. Drawing a deep breath, Chevious' knuckles fell upon the aged wood. She stood there for a few moments, but no one answered. She knocked again. Still no answer.

"He must be at the party," she concluded, reaching into the mailbox adorning the wall beside the door. Sure enough there was a key at the bottom of the flaking gold box. She removed it, opened the door, replaced the key, and let herself into the small apartment.

She stood at one end of a sparsely furnished living room, a mixture of spicy cologne and laundry soap filled her nose with its intoxicating aroma. A shabby sofa sat peacefully against the wall, a polished coffee table positioned in front of it. A small television rested atop a short filing cabinet across from the sofa. A small, half-decorated tree stood in the corner beside the couch, presents absent from beneath its frail looking branches.

Chevious moved farther into the tiny living room, exploring the little apartment. A small kitchenette adjoined it, occupied by only countertops, a stove, a refrigerator, and a sink. A short hallway ran the width of the apartment, opening into the living room. A single bedroom and bathroom branched off of the hallway, each merely furnished by the necessities. The hall closet contained a washer and dryer as opposed to hangers and coats. Chevious was sure that she would be imposing on this man, whom had obviously fallen on hard times. She decided as she moved back toward the living room that it would be best to leave him alone and spend Christmas back at the castle.

As she entered the living room again, she was astonished to find the doorknob turning. She froze in the doorway. Chevious had not expected to actually meet the man who lived there; she was hoping to be gone before he returned.

The door crept forward as Chevious held her breath, trying to find the words to explain her presence in a stranger's apartment. She averted her eyes to the floor, unable to look the resident in the eye. Footsteps approached only for a few strides before stopping abruptly.

"I'm sorry for intruding like this. I'm a friend of Minerva McGonagall's and she assured me that you wouldn't mind having a visitor for the holidays. She also told me that you wouldn't mind if I let myself in, so I did. Please pardon me for taking it upon myself to become at home. Silly me, I haven't even introduced myself..."

"Chevious?" the deep, familiar voice of resident exclaimed, not bothering to hide his surprise.

She peered up curiously, her breath catching in her chest. Remus Lupin stood before her, his head cocked slightly in disbelief. His expressive eyes stared into her own, seemingly baffled by her presence. He had been removing his chocolate trench coat when he had caught sight of the woman, it now laid forgotten on the floor beside him with his keys. He seemed thinner and more frail than he had only a week before, and with good reason: the full moon had occurred only two days prior to this night.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen between them.

Chevious remained silent. Tears began to well up, threatening to spill onto her rosy, wind burned cheeks, as she tried to find the words to express what she wanted to say. Her voice cracked as she whispered a weak, "I don't know."

Remus stared at her for a few moments as she began to inspect the creme colored shag carpet under her feet. He strode forward, positioning himself inches from her. Cupping her face in his large hands, he raised her head until she met his gaze. Small trails formed by teardrops ran over her cheek bones.

Wiping away her tears with his thumbs, he spoke again, voice little more than a whisper. "You don't know, huh? Well, that's an odd sort of answer." She was silent, her emotions beginning to boil to the surface. "Were you looking for something? Something you believed to be lost maybe?"

Without thinking, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. Their lips met in a deep, passionate kiss. At first, he didn't seem to return it, perhaps from shock, but he soon found himself falling into it.

She pulled away, pressing her face into his chest. Hot tears burned her eyes and soaked his emerald tee shirt. His comforting arms encircled her in a warm embrace as she cried ceaselessly.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I didn't mean any of it, but I can understand if you never want to be with me again. Just know that I never stopped loving you, not for one moment. It was what kept me alive for all those years. I do love you, Remus. More than I can even voice."

He merely smiled. "I love you too. I said something stupid, but I'm only human. I was hoping you'd come back to me, I just didn't believe it for a long time. Just don't leave me again, I don't know if I'll be able to handle it."

"I promise," Chevious sighed, a broad smile crossing her lips now.

He pulled away, taking her petite hand in his own. He lead her toward the doorway, stopping suddenly only feet from the door itself. She looked at him questioningly and he gazed up at the ceiling. Upon following his gaze, her eyes met with a green sprig of mistletoe that dangled from the overhead light.

"It appears that we've been caught under the mistletoe," Remus teased, leaning down.

"It seems so, doesn't it?" Chevious joked, rising up onto the balls of her toes to meet his lips in another kiss.

"Happy Christmas, Chev," he whispered against her cheek.

"Happy Christmas, Remus," she replied, holding him closer.

* * *

**RAR #13:** Hooray for happy endings! Well, maybe not an ending, but close enough. I've been listening to love songs on my mp3 player for the last week and a half and was really excited about this chapter. I finally found a bit of time after the family left on my birthday to get away and write it out. I hope you liked it because I personally _love_ sappy chapters such as this. They make me feel all fuzzy inside. Anyway, as usual, please review. Reviews make me happy and brighten my mood greatly. Thank you and the final chapter(s) shall be posted soon 


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